AWESOMENESS

I started a journey along my writing journey. That is probably the reason my 2nd book is not complete yet but it is an important one. I was 252lbs. May of last year and I am 5'8. I think you can see from the image above it wasn't a pretty picture. I also was diagnosed with pulmonary hypertension and since I carry a clotting disorder any weight loss surgery would be fatal. I decided I had to change my life and with a little motivation from my sister we will call her KR I started that journey. I struggled with work out videos and calorie diets. I went from 252 to 229 between May and August I sort of was stuck there. When I saw an old Friend and he lost a ton of weight plus looked a thousand times happier. He had taken a vegan approach to his lifestyle. I decided it was time I take one for mine. Between mid October to now I went from 229 to 189. Which if your adding that's 63lbs. I still have a ways to go to get to 140 but I will get there and it will be awesome.

Writing I have been doing a lot of thinking and re reading my book and many other books to try and figure out how to change my story and create a masterpiece. I finally am on track with an idea. It is about Mira and her friends but it is much bigger than anyone can see coming and it will blow your mind. I probably will be finished with it sometime this year and then the edits will begin. I want to thank all of you for supporting me and being awesome through my journey it makes me feel important and worth while.

Next week I need a topic that is fun but requires some research offer me some ideas and besure to like my facebook page. Have a great rest of the week!

A new Year A new beginning

I don't really do much of reflection usually at the beginning of the year but I thought since so many of you are out there routing for me I would give you some insight to my 2012. As every year there are twelve months and usually something big happens every month. When I look back to my January I was not the happiest person. I knew that I had to deal with my issues from my past that were haunting my every day life. I started counselling and from there I started a new journey. 

Every week I went to see two different therapist. One was for physiology and one was for psychiatry yes I knew two very similar but very different things. I knew that taking anti psychotics was not going to work for me I pretty much got lower on every one I tried so I went to see a psychiatric who also was a natural path certified doctor. With in a month I felt better. He told me that my depression was not a chemical imbalance it was due to trauma I endured as a child. This brings me to a huge point. Children are very sensitive even if they seem strong and divorce is not easy on them. Fighting with each other makes the children suffer ten times more than you could ever know when it comes to divorce. Separating the siblings makes it that much worse. 

After I worked through many months of therapy we got orders to 29 palms California. To create a smooth transition I moved ahead of my husband with our children so they could start school on time and un disturbed   It was a month before all of this that my doctors told me I had pulmonary hypertension  they wanted to preform a gastric bypass because I was a hundred lbs over weight  It hit me pretty hard to hear that and then what they told me next was that much harder. They couldn't do the surgery because I carry a blood clothing disorder. If I didn't lose the weight though I probably would only live a year or so. I hadn't ever thought to much about dieting but with that news I was pretty shook up. I started eating smaller portions and lost 10 lbs in two months. To me it wasn't enough so I started doing P90x in July. I also made a goal to lose 100lbs in a year starting August 1st. 

My husband who was still in Hawaii getting ready to head out to us. had felt like he didn't want to be married anymore. He got a little lost in all of the therapy and stress of the move. Our marriage was struggling. I just asked him to give me six months and let us work on this. I also told him if in six months  he still wanted out  I would willingly sign divorce papers. It was a stressful couple of weeks but we pulled it together. When he finally got out here to Joshua Tree California everything got better fast. It was like a new start. It took time to rebuild the trust between us but after about 4 months we knew we were right where we belonged. 

In October I had lost 20 lbs. I could not do P90X any longer because I kept getting hurt and it made it impossible to do my everyday life. So I turned to what I was eating and started being very picky about what I put in my mouth. My friends came out for a birthday party and one who was overweight three years ago now looked like half of himself. It was so awesome to see how happy and energetic he was. I knew that what ever he was doing worked and I wanted to try it. He told me he was Vegan and he told me to watch Forks Over knifes. I did and I started researching vegan and vegetarian  I also started looking into many other documentaries  Hungry for Change, Ingredients, Fat Sick and nearly dead and many you tube diaries. I knew I had to do this. There was no try it was only do. I stopped telling myself I can't have this or that and started telling myself I don't want that. If it has more than 7 ingredients and any chemicals I would not put it in me. Now every once in a while I eat eggs, and milk and sometimes very rarely butter. I try though to keep it all plant products. By day three I knew I was detoxing because I smelled bad but I also knew that my body was happy. By the end of the first week I had lost 5 lbs and felt like a million bucks. I continued my journey losing lb after lb and feeling better and better. I had rough days where I lost my focus and really wanted a hamburger but I reminded myself why I was doing this and what I needed to do. I have not had any meat or fish since October 20th and I am not going to lie it has been hard but so rewarding. As of January 11 2013 I am down 60lbs form my starting weight and 50 lbs from my Goal starting weight  I only have 50 more to lose to meet my goal and to meet my weight that I want I have 65 more to go. My blood pressures have started to get a little better now it is just time to start adding work out to my diet. 

I wrote my first book this past year and though it wasn't the greatest thing I did complete it and now I am editing it and changing it and making it more then I ever originally thought it could be. I am proud of my accomplishments from 2012 it was probably the most stressful year our family has ever had but it was also the most rewarding. I again thank all of you who are supporting me on this journey. 

I will be changing my blog a little bit a well. I am going to be blogging about life in general but also the positive things going on in the world. There is so much negative I want to talk about the positive. 

Being Strong

I have talked a lot about my life and how things have changed me, different events make me think differently about different situations. I never thought me saying something to someone would help change their life though. I guess it never dawned on me that I was that important to help another, Or that they would listen to me. I was in WalMart when we first moved here about 6 months ago, and there was a parent who was completely out of control. I had been walking behind them for a while seemed we were going to the same places. Her daughter was just being so good she was standing next to her mom and hadn't said much. Then her mother didn't like the way the girl had done her hair. (it was in a pony tail.) She started going off about her daughters hair and I could tell the poor girl was so embarrassed and the look of fear came into her eyes. Her mother raised her hand as though she was going to slap the child. I grabbed that woman's hand so fast. It was a reaction I didn't even process what I was doing how I moved that quickly until long after. I told the little girl, " No one ever has the right to touch you or hurt you out of anger I want you to tell your teachers, your principal your relatives and keep telling them until they listen when ever your mother does these things to you again." She looked at me with a soft smile. She said my mom and dad are with the Angels this is my CPS case worker. I let the woman's hand go and by then a security guard had come over I told him what had happened and the woman said it was fine she just wanted to leave. The man standing there looked at me and asked what I saw I told him and he called the police. The woman was arrested because the girl had bruises all over her body from her foster home and many she said came from the CPS worker. The girl then came over to me and said," I don't think I would have ever said anything to those police men had you not told me that. I have been scared for so long. Thank you for helping me." I told her she was welcome and she asked me about my story how I knew no one should touch a child like that. I shared a kid edited version with her and gave her my info in case she ever needed someone to talk to. Well I got an email from her the other day and she is doing really great. The security guard at Walmart and his wife are her foster parents now and there trying to adopt her. They even took her to therapy and are all learning how to take care of each other as well as Parenting classes. The girl told me Thank You for her new life her new good life." Her new foster father added " I really love people who have a passion to change the world and stand up for people no matter what the price could be." 

I share this because we do effect each other. Much like that movie pay it forward everyone touches another life, Wether it be that woman you cut off, The man you steal from or the one hello and smile you give. Everyones lives are separate but connected. In a time of so so much evil that seems to intoxicate our world, Sharing love, patience  kindness and truth are the best way to change this and turn it all around. There will still be evil and people will still be harmed but if we all just stop and stand up for one another we all might get through it a little less destroyed. Everyday in the US 5 children die from child abuse 1825 children a year die from being beaten and neglected to death. Mostly because they are to scared to say anything. My little bit of encouragement I believe saved that girls life. Always try to remember that pointing fingers is easy blaming someone else is even easier but looking at yourself is hard and sadly it starts with each of us. Think about who you effect and try and make this new year a year of love and happiness all tied with positivity and HOPE that our leaders will adapt these ideals as well and our country will change for the better. Merry Christmas Everyone! 

The Waves of Life

This is a Portuguese Maneuver resting upon the sand of that flipper. Well it is probably dyeing because it is not in water but that is life right we float out of the water and rest on the sand when we are tired and then a wave comes in and says " that's enough rest lets go drown some more." I think there are times I look at life that way. who am I kidding all of us have days where we are dyeing on the sand and constantly being pulled in and rushed out by the waves of life. 

My child hood was not a beautiful one but it created a beautiful person. Christmas always was my hardest holiday. If I made it through my birthday sits right after the New Year and I could breath for a few months not struggling from the pain of the past or the regrets of the mistakes. Overcoming all of these things the past year has really helped me to like myself and love myself. I finally have started writing again. A hobby that all to long ago was covered by loss in confidence. I continue my work on my BA with less hesitation and more joy and I love my husband and children family and friends just a little more. See when one does not like oneself they cannot find the beauty in others. They may slug around and bring others down because they are jealous of the happiness they feel constantly waiting for the happiness to fade and them to be on the same level of fear, anger and sadness as oneself is. This past year working on myself I fear I may have been that person at many points in my life but I refuse to let regret eat me alive any longer. My soul is no longer consumed by pain, anger and hatred. I am finally at peace with the world and the balance of life. On top of all of this I have lost 42 lbs. It was like once the pain started healing the weight started lifting. My 2012 was a very challenging year but it was so rewarding all the same. 

I told you I would write about some of the great books I have read and why I loved them so much. I am currently int he middle of about four series and I can't get enough but with three kids the reading is a bit slower these days. 
Lauren Kate's Fallen Series is Amazing, very well written and breathtaking with surprise. 
Aprilynn Pike's Wings Series brings you to a world you never thought existed and makes Fairy's much cooler then I ever thought they were before. 
Carrie Jones' Need series makes me want to be a pixie. It is very well written and epic.
PC and Kristen Cast, The House of Night Series is a good series I got a little burnt out after Burned but I heard there will be 13 books total I hope there is something new and surprising coming soon.
I love the Eragon series and am so excited to read the final book that only the last chapter was written by the famous Author and his heir wrote the rest. 
I did read the first book of Fifty Shades of Grey I was not a fan. 
I love Nicholas Spraks books I read Safe Haven and The Lucky Ones. Both great reads.
Kerissa and I read The Dork Diaries I have big plans for Middle grade books for her this year. Big Big plans.
I am kind of a sucker for SciFi and Paranormal Romance. 
This year I plan to branch out a bit and read more Middle Grade novels as well as Adult. 
I first will be finishing up my series I am in the middle of and starting Anne Rice, The Vampire Chronicles. Then I have met so many debut authors on twitter that I will be reading all of there books as well. I will keep you posted about once a month I will write about a new book I have read. 

For now Have a very happy week and look at life as though you are being pulled into adventure and rushed out for a rest but quickly drawn back into the waves of life, fun, love and Happiness. 

Cupcakes...

Went to LA to visit one of my best friends this weekend, and I had to find out what all the guff was about at Georgetown Cupcakes. These cupcakes were amazingly good and beautiful. The gluten free and vegan ones were amazing as well they melted in your mouth. My kids loved that I brought them home some as well. Now this week is a big week I am working full force on preparing my Manuscript for pitch wars I have the beging polished but the middle and end are not. Two days and lots to finish up. I will be burning the candle at both ends this week. Happy Monday everyone!! 

Rough days

I think that every person finds a day or two that can be challenging especially with children.  This morning was that for me. In this life we call writing there are so many opportunities that come up and each one is epic in different ways. I am trying to get my SyFy with a hint of romance, betrayal, surprises  and friendships. Polished up for Pitch wars. I am so excited but it brings on a new level of stress as well. My daughter just started K12 online which makes me her teacher she doesn't always like to do her work and today the tears ran red in my mind. Then little super baby climbs on table spills water on school books... Lastly little star boy pukes on me. not glamourous to say the least. I really thought I may pull ever strand of my hair out. When my daughter hands me my math book and says," Look mom I did your home work for you." She drew me a picture on the back cover of her and I smiling. I couldn't help but smile and be reminded at the same time that I also have math homework due today. Sometimes though it is ok to breath and put everything aside and just try to enjoy the happiness in everything. My daughter is strong willed, My super baby will be able to get out of any obstacle and my sick star boy felt pain on his own for the first time today. He is Autistic and has never given me much of a reaction when it comes to pain. Now I have a pretty picture to help me smile when I am cramming numbers for this five week math class. All in all it wasn't such a bad morning. Now to finish math homework and polish more of my manuscript. Happy Thursday Everyone! 

Mira

In my Novel I have named my main character after the star Mira. 

Today I finished my Philosophy class and am 14 classes away from my degree. It makes me smile. Funny how life moves us and forces us into places we never realized were there. I know one day I will write a book about my life right now though I am enjoying my fictional world on a different planet with Mira and her friends. I think we create our own destiny what ever destiny is any ways. I started with wanting to be a photo journalist, changed my degree to journalism from there I was thinking lawyer and then I got passionate about education. All of my paperwork to change my degree kept getting lost and then I started writing about mermaids. Some day I will finish that story some day but it lead me to Mira and her amazing story. I am glad my degree program never changed and I am loving the idea of having a BA in journalism and going for a masters in Creative writing!! Just look at how bright and beautiful that star is. I hope she rubs off and helps you find your dreams! I am working on my Pitch wars submission editing and editing and editing loving it all the while holding on to a smile! Happy Monday everyone bring on Tuesday!!