And it all comes undone

You know that moment they talk about that changes everything? The one where you decide to go out in the rain and end up hydroplaning into a wall. The signs were there the separation was never ending and when I finally let go the relief came. It was followed by anger and pain but also a new door to happiness. I don't think divorce should ever be taken lightly especially when you have kids. I always believed marriage was forever and my kids would never go through the insecurities divorce brings. After 8 and half years though we couldn't make it work. Is it better to not have the fighting and the resentment? I think so but it still just is so crazy how easy and how fast it all changed. There were good times and a long time ago we loved each other. I probably could write a book on all the things that happened maybe some day I will. Thats what has kept me away from all you awesome followers. 

Kids started school which is epic and they both have lots of books they want to read. I would love to hear what everyone is reading with their children, it is so important to spend that time.

I promised a tidbit from my When Stars Collide Series so I am going to give you all a piece of my heart that is not edited so don't hate on my errors. I was typing 2k words per hour. 

She sat in her room on the purple satin covered bench just under the birch-framed window taking in the meadow of her youth one last time. Every Being must grow up at some point and leave their pod and amount to greatness. That’s what the past thirteen years of training were about it just seemed to come sooner then she thought it would. A soft warm sensation came across her sixteen year old smooth and pale pink cheek. Her thoughts wondered, She had grown up in this home called a pod it was a celesteculous site really. The walls entwined with plants and glass that could turn into monitors or video cameras at the command of any being. As her hand brushed the window sill she lost control of her ability to block memories, immediately she was swirled into viewing a younger version of herself running about the gardens, dancing across the stepping stones and spying into the tree line that when she looked back her pod sat perfectly in the center of the meadow, a small willow tree off to the side and her guardians work pods just a little behind the main home pod. Her young self reached for a dew drop in the air and a joyful memory came over her soon she was splashing and jumping about in the horseshoe shaped pond that sat just beyond the tree line.  The most amazing magic encumbers you when you stand just after your toes touch the water bank, all you have to do is look up and your eyes will be canopied of millions of tiny lights mysteriously entwined in the vines that grow from tree to tree along the banks of the pond. Suddenly Celeste is filled with fear the sky above her is daunting and grey she fights against it and lets out a large breath, her eyes flail open and she is safe just looking out the window. The sky is a little odd but it is nothing like her vision.

 Celeste sighs and tries to let out all the anxiety that swarmed her mind in one huff but her stomach clenches at the thoughts that a swarming her mind mostly the ones that include the goodbyes but also the odd memory vision.  It was pretty much her only power yet her guardians had made her swear she would never share it. For months she had to practice blocking it from happening when she touched objects because when it did happen she almost looked like she was dying. They had an odd fear of her memory reading as they called it. One would think they would want a being that could do something humans couldn’t.

Maybe she should be fearful of the memory but she was more fearful of where she would be tomorrow. A heavy pain hits her head as if she had stared at the sun Idris to long, she cringes but is drawn to the sky, it is darker than usual and an eerie glow was inbounding Celeste figured it must be the first sun Idris arriving to shine the morning hours away. Yet it had an almost fiery glow to it. Something wasn’t right but what? She couldn’t put her finger on it.  The thoughts that kept coming to mind were the day’s graduation selections but the sky was almost calling to her she just didn’t know how to listen. All She could process was what happens when a being has no individualistic talents, no skills insured she would be a cast out or an orbit sweeper for life. Celeste knew she wasn’t like dark skinned, curly haired beautiful green-eyed Rana, who happened to be her best concordia of 13 years. Rana could heal; she wasn’t like Azah not only tall dark and handsome but he also could read futures, she wasn’t even like brainiac buff tanned skinned spiky haired Leo. In Celeste’s mind there was nothing specifically special about her she just was. In her mind she felt as mute in her energy channeling as the voice of Astoria; the girl who had lived on earth for a few years before coming back to planet Beid. Celeste thought Astoria had amazing brown hair with soft curls. She just had no voice.  Celeste and Rana were always so jealous of her wired looking green eyes and the fact that no one really asked anything of her because she wouldn’t speak but she could channel energy.  Something deeply troubled Celeste about Astoria since the first day of the twelfth level even though Astoria was silent and her thoughts were blocked, She looked as though she wanted to speak, Celeste always though something had to of happened to her something must have changed her. Daunting question is what could change a young girl to be silent. A soft chill rose up Celeste back maybe the Leaders would send them to the same assignment. On the bright side orbit pushers live a few years before being devoured by a space rock or supernova. Celeste shook off the thoughts and snapped her self back to reality with the falling of her pile of books that had plummeted to hardwood rose colored floor from her bed, she jumped off the bench.

 Deep breaths she thought only one more lesson, “hey maybe you will surprise your self and achieve it”, the overwhelming pit of doubt in her stomach rose it seemed to be telling her not likely. Her only want was for it to hopefully not be to long.  Instructor Arie mentioned that it should only last through the first sun, then the final exam should be over by second moon, Ceremony around eclipse and then off to the car station to universe knows where. Yep, that about summed up the schedule Celeste thought to herself she could see the first sun rising slowly through the daunting grey sky, which meant it was about time to grab her crystal flaked well water and hit the tree line.

She took one last glance in the mirror wearing her favorite Purple pilus that hugged her upper body comfortably but not too tight, Her lime green colored bracas also a comfortable fit and her matching purple flops that made feet look perfectly shaped like a water shoe with toe holders. She gave herself two thumbs up  pulled the brush though her long blonde ringlet hair and turned to the disaster that had unfolded itself upon her very bright blue bedding, so much so that you really couldn’t see the bedding anymore just blotches here and there between her rainbow of pilus’, books and flops. “Well better get it all packed in,” she huffed out loud. Celeste really wished her patris’ (fathers) robot organizer had been approved for use upon the planet Beid but sadly her patris was ordered to destroy it because according to the leaders “Robots are for humans and they are not for beings,” She mimicked Leader Biedal in her head ridiculously bold tone of voice and all.  Her final grass green satchel was almost bursting at the seams as she was now stuffing everything in. Including a journal she had found in her matris’s healing books, Celeste loved to read the entries about the owner’s young love and her trip to earth. She knew it wasn’t her matris’s though because her matris had never been to earth. Someday she thought, I will go to earth and love like this women loved and live as she did human like and all.

Celeste remembered helping her matris in the healing pod she felt like a fairy from one of her books every time she jumped the decorated stones to get there. Celeste wanted to be like her Matris or Patris but is seemed she was so unordinary she might as well have been human. Her first week into lessons Instructor Sky told her she might as well start sweeping meteors now because there was no room for misfits upon planet Beid. He didn’t even understand why they would allow her in the higher education pod, it wasn’t like she could channel any special energies. Celeste tried to wave this off but it was hard at times seeing the other beings achieve every assignment on the first attempt yet after 50 or so tries the instructors would give up on her. When this happened Celeste would day dream about the journal entries, her favorite one spoke that a prophecy had been written and it for told that one very ordinary Being will save us all. Celeste liked to pretend that one day she would wake up and be so important and so powerful she would not need to worry about her place on Beid any longer. Of course this was a dream and not reality but it helped pass the time and shield her Instructors dismay in her failures.

More to come :) Have an amazing Labor day and remember to smile I love all of your support.