AWESOMENESS

I started a journey along my writing journey. That is probably the reason my 2nd book is not complete yet but it is an important one. I was 252lbs. May of last year and I am 5'8. I think you can see from the image above it wasn't a pretty picture. I also was diagnosed with pulmonary hypertension and since I carry a clotting disorder any weight loss surgery would be fatal. I decided I had to change my life and with a little motivation from my sister we will call her KR I started that journey. I struggled with work out videos and calorie diets. I went from 252 to 229 between May and August I sort of was stuck there. When I saw an old Friend and he lost a ton of weight plus looked a thousand times happier. He had taken a vegan approach to his lifestyle. I decided it was time I take one for mine. Between mid October to now I went from 229 to 189. Which if your adding that's 63lbs. I still have a ways to go to get to 140 but I will get there and it will be awesome.

Writing I have been doing a lot of thinking and re reading my book and many other books to try and figure out how to change my story and create a masterpiece. I finally am on track with an idea. It is about Mira and her friends but it is much bigger than anyone can see coming and it will blow your mind. I probably will be finished with it sometime this year and then the edits will begin. I want to thank all of you for supporting me and being awesome through my journey it makes me feel important and worth while.

Next week I need a topic that is fun but requires some research offer me some ideas and besure to like my facebook page. Have a great rest of the week!

A new Year A new beginning

I don't really do much of reflection usually at the beginning of the year but I thought since so many of you are out there routing for me I would give you some insight to my 2012. As every year there are twelve months and usually something big happens every month. When I look back to my January I was not the happiest person. I knew that I had to deal with my issues from my past that were haunting my every day life. I started counselling and from there I started a new journey. 

Every week I went to see two different therapist. One was for physiology and one was for psychiatry yes I knew two very similar but very different things. I knew that taking anti psychotics was not going to work for me I pretty much got lower on every one I tried so I went to see a psychiatric who also was a natural path certified doctor. With in a month I felt better. He told me that my depression was not a chemical imbalance it was due to trauma I endured as a child. This brings me to a huge point. Children are very sensitive even if they seem strong and divorce is not easy on them. Fighting with each other makes the children suffer ten times more than you could ever know when it comes to divorce. Separating the siblings makes it that much worse. 

After I worked through many months of therapy we got orders to 29 palms California. To create a smooth transition I moved ahead of my husband with our children so they could start school on time and un disturbed   It was a month before all of this that my doctors told me I had pulmonary hypertension  they wanted to preform a gastric bypass because I was a hundred lbs over weight  It hit me pretty hard to hear that and then what they told me next was that much harder. They couldn't do the surgery because I carry a blood clothing disorder. If I didn't lose the weight though I probably would only live a year or so. I hadn't ever thought to much about dieting but with that news I was pretty shook up. I started eating smaller portions and lost 10 lbs in two months. To me it wasn't enough so I started doing P90x in July. I also made a goal to lose 100lbs in a year starting August 1st. 

My husband who was still in Hawaii getting ready to head out to us. had felt like he didn't want to be married anymore. He got a little lost in all of the therapy and stress of the move. Our marriage was struggling. I just asked him to give me six months and let us work on this. I also told him if in six months  he still wanted out  I would willingly sign divorce papers. It was a stressful couple of weeks but we pulled it together. When he finally got out here to Joshua Tree California everything got better fast. It was like a new start. It took time to rebuild the trust between us but after about 4 months we knew we were right where we belonged. 

In October I had lost 20 lbs. I could not do P90X any longer because I kept getting hurt and it made it impossible to do my everyday life. So I turned to what I was eating and started being very picky about what I put in my mouth. My friends came out for a birthday party and one who was overweight three years ago now looked like half of himself. It was so awesome to see how happy and energetic he was. I knew that what ever he was doing worked and I wanted to try it. He told me he was Vegan and he told me to watch Forks Over knifes. I did and I started researching vegan and vegetarian  I also started looking into many other documentaries  Hungry for Change, Ingredients, Fat Sick and nearly dead and many you tube diaries. I knew I had to do this. There was no try it was only do. I stopped telling myself I can't have this or that and started telling myself I don't want that. If it has more than 7 ingredients and any chemicals I would not put it in me. Now every once in a while I eat eggs, and milk and sometimes very rarely butter. I try though to keep it all plant products. By day three I knew I was detoxing because I smelled bad but I also knew that my body was happy. By the end of the first week I had lost 5 lbs and felt like a million bucks. I continued my journey losing lb after lb and feeling better and better. I had rough days where I lost my focus and really wanted a hamburger but I reminded myself why I was doing this and what I needed to do. I have not had any meat or fish since October 20th and I am not going to lie it has been hard but so rewarding. As of January 11 2013 I am down 60lbs form my starting weight and 50 lbs from my Goal starting weight  I only have 50 more to lose to meet my goal and to meet my weight that I want I have 65 more to go. My blood pressures have started to get a little better now it is just time to start adding work out to my diet. 

I wrote my first book this past year and though it wasn't the greatest thing I did complete it and now I am editing it and changing it and making it more then I ever originally thought it could be. I am proud of my accomplishments from 2012 it was probably the most stressful year our family has ever had but it was also the most rewarding. I again thank all of you who are supporting me on this journey. 

I will be changing my blog a little bit a well. I am going to be blogging about life in general but also the positive things going on in the world. There is so much negative I want to talk about the positive.